I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
