I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
