Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
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