just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
