If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
