i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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