It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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