I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
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