there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
