google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
