"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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