I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
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