My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
