His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
You're like the curious george of whores
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
