No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
