We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize