When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
