About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
