It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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