11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
