So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
