They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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