come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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