airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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