ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
