K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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