dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize