Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
