i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
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