too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
