saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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