So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
