I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Green mimosas i think yes
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
