i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Randomize
