Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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