no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
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