come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize