Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
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