my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
