so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
