Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Randomize
