you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
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