At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
They took my balls.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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