I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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