I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
