do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
