do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize