At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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