So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
