I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I would ride that face into the sunset
Don't tell me you're on acid again
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
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