you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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