uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
