hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Randomize
