Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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