Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
