mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Randomize
