So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
