this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Randomize
