We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
