i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
