So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
