You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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