her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize