Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
