they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
